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oceanfamily
Associate Member
127 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 04 2009 : 09:23:03 AM
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| Jami! Sure hope you feel better:) |
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Karen in Bisbee
Moderator
USA
6695 Posts |
Posted - Nov 04 2009 : 09:23:39 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Heidi
I am in the last quarter of my life. When I retired at 58 (thanks YMORL), friends asked me what I would be doing with the rest of my life. I told them I just graduated to the top of Maslow's pyramid of needs. I will be working on self-actualization and transcendence. My gray hair and wrinkles remind me of my place in life and what I need to be working on. No need to hide anything.
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Our capacity to do less harm is limited, but our capacity to do good is not. |
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HappyHiker
Advanced Member
1097 Posts |
Posted - Nov 04 2009 : 11:16:42 AM
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| Heidi, so true, humorous and right on! |
"In separateness," said the Buddha, "lies the world's greatest misery." |
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cgmc
New Member
10 Posts |
Posted - Nov 04 2009 : 2:28:31 PM
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Heidi,
I greatly admire your posting message. To me, this is what we should all strive for and I feel sad how much society has taught us something different. Most women are so hard wired, including me!, to present themselves with enhancements. I am 58 and this has been a challenge to me most of my life. Bravo to you--you represent what I'm constantly trying to achieve. Wish there were more of us like you! |
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humboldtgurl
Advanced Member
USA
1018 Posts |
Posted - Nov 04 2009 : 9:05:10 PM
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I'm so glad you started this thread, thanks! Just now catching up on the conversation, the "Going Gray Looking Great" website is awesome!
Ok, so I did something really cowardly. As a few of you might remember from the other thread, I cut my hair short and started to let the gray grow. I had about 1" of gray going on. Maybe in 2 more haircuts I would be all natural.
But then, I started to get overwhelmed, thinking about the holidays, seeing my 4 sisters and Mom. I could already hear their comments about my hair, which I know wouldn't be very nice. They're from L.A. I might as well be from Mars.
So I grabbed the dye I had left and colored my hair again! Agggh! I wussed out!
I rationalized my behavior with the promise to myself that I would start all over again in January, after I deal with the holiday ordeal. By the time I see them all again, in roughly 6 months, my hair should be all grown out.
It's so hard to believe this is such a difficult thing for me to do. I'm a crazy, rebellious woman at heart, but something about this going gray is really, really tough at my age (40).
Thanks for listening. |
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oceanfamily
Associate Member
127 Posts |
Posted - Nov 05 2009 : 08:02:31 AM
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| humboldtgurl~ hey we are our toughest ctritics! I can totally understand the fmaily thing...I don't have a sister(s) and a mom from L.A. That would be so tough being "different" but I will say this...one day when your hair is all grown out with its beautiful gray, you might be the one to give them (family) a reason to really think about their choices. You might be the inspiration they need...you never know what even one sister of yours might be thinking:) |
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humboldtgurl
Advanced Member
USA
1018 Posts |
Posted - Nov 05 2009 : 2:25:13 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by oceanfamily
...one day when your hair is all grown out with its beautiful gray, you might be the one to give them (family) a reason to really think about their choices.
Thank you, that is really sweet. I sure hope so! I was so mad at myself for coloring again, but I'm going to keep my promise to start over in January. |
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HappyHiker
Advanced Member
1097 Posts |
Posted - Nov 05 2009 : 7:29:07 PM
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Once I was at a woman's herbal workshop weekend in Northern Califonria. I remember sitting at a table with a mother daughter pair...really nice people, both of them.
We fell into a free-flowing conversation and the daughter remarked, "Where are all the Grandmothers?" I asked her what she meant and she said, "Here [in California,] no one wants to look like a Grandmother any more--they're all trying to look younger...look around this room, where are the women who look like grandmothers, where is the gray or white hair?"
I did look around and out of all the women there were only a couple of women who had natural, un-tinted hair. This young woman had made her comments kind of wistfully...and her words have stayed with me over the years.
Maybe that's part of the reason why I'm trying to own up to my wisdom years and let my hair return to its natural color...maybe our elder roles have importance and there's need for us in the world.
There's a Native American saying, maybe you've heard it: "When Grandmothers speak, the Earth will be healed."
Maybe our natural hair has to proudly proclaim our wisdom years and no longer shall we be pawns in the hair coloring industry. Putting toxic substances on my head to look younger has lost its appeal... |
"In separateness," said the Buddha, "lies the world's greatest misery." |
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hemetites
Junior Member
93 Posts |
Posted - Nov 06 2009 : 2:39:48 PM
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I've never dyed my hair. I'm 50 now and about 60% dark brown and 40%silver. I've always thought that white/gray hair was very attractive. Between the ages of 35 and 45, people sometimes used to make snide little comments about my graying hair. It used to hurt my feelings a tad, but I just shrugged my shoulders and said that I'm owning what I am. Now I get compliments. I just shrug my shoulders and say that I'm owning what I am. In a way it's my own private rebellion against societal norms that dictate women only look attractive if they're young, thin, and wearing stiletto heels. (Gee, why don't we bind our feet and wear tight corsets while we're at it?) I say "bah humbug". It's our heart, our character, and our actions, that make us beautiful in this world.
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janharker
Member
385 Posts |
Posted - Nov 06 2009 : 4:39:58 PM
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I'm 53. I got my first gray hair at puberty. It's about 3/4 gray now. I've never dyed it. My attitude has always been two-fold. First, I'm too cheap to pay the cost of the dye. Second, and most importantly, if God wants me to have gray hair, who am I to contradict.
I have gotten comments from other women most of my life about how nice my hair is. I've only recently realized that most of those comments come from women older than me, and soon the number of compliments will dwindle down as those older women pass. |
Edited by - janharker on Nov 06 2009 4:41:16 PM |
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HappyHiker
Advanced Member
1097 Posts |
Posted - Nov 09 2009 : 2:44:50 PM
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| Maybe those compliments will dwindle but then you could take up the banner and be the giver of compliments to younger women needing the meaningful words of a wise and strong elder woman...play it forward... |
"In separateness," said the Buddha, "lies the world's greatest misery." |
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gregg1961
Moderator
USA
1794 Posts |
Posted - Nov 10 2009 : 1:10:06 PM
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| DW has an unknown percentage of gray at this point. She swears to me that no one will ever learn the true percentage. Oh well, I spend money playing golf (with salt and pepper)... |
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Florence
Advanced Member
USA
6753 Posts |
Posted - Nov 11 2009 : 8:39:20 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by oceanfamily
Florence~ It sounds like you've lost your dad also:( I lost mine when I was 23. He had the most beautiful gray/white hair too. This evening I was looking at my hair in the mirror and noticed really cute streaks of silver coming in and went running out to the living room and ran right up to my hubby and said "See, Look! My hair is going to be just like dads!" Totally excited...what a relief because I don't know what my moms real color is:) I didn't know which side of the family my hair was going to be like:)
Yes,oceanfamily, my dad died many years ago when I was only 25. I really understand your excitement over findig your hair is going to be like your dad's!! My mom always colored her hair too. |
If I really grasped the reality of how brief life is what would I do differently?
Ruminations |
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Iris Lily
Advanced Member
3266 Posts |
Posted - Nov 11 2009 : 8:43:46 PM
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I'll tell ya what's bothering me more than grey hair my thinning hair. It's coming out in chunks every time I take a shower. This has been happenedin for a few months. It's scary!
I always had thick hair, but no more. I've had the same barrettes for a dozen years and I could never get all of my hair into those barrettes until now. |
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Florence
Advanced Member
USA
6753 Posts |
Posted - Nov 11 2009 : 8:48:02 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Iris Lily
I'll tell ya what's bothering me more than grey hair my thinning hair. It's coming out in chunks every time I take a shower. This has been happenedin for a few months. It's scary!
I always had thick hair, but no more. I've had the same barrettes for a dozen years and I could never get all of my hair into those barrettes until now.
Any possibility of thyroid problems? |
If I really grasped the reality of how brief life is what would I do differently?
Ruminations |
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Gray hair women club:)
