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fidgiegirl
Member
USA
384 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 06 2009 : 4:41:48 PM
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I used to work really hard to YMOYL. I tracked, and had a wall chart, and was doing the questions. I was reducing expenses, and have been working hard for almost four years to pay off my debt. So slowly my YMOYL has morphed into an almost exclusive focus on debt reduction.
Happily, I was also married this summer. And when I got married, even before, I kind of burned out on tracking. But now we are within a month of paying off our debt (well, my debt  ). We are pretty much working on the Dave Ramsey plan now rather than YMOYL.
But lately, something feels like it's missing. It's almost like when I started working on YMOYL, I had no idea I would get married ever, my plan was really just to start and try to get out of debt . . . beyond that, I didn't really have a goal or a plan or a purpose. But being so close, I want to develop one. But then, it's not just me. I kind of jokingly say I want to retire in a few years, and my husband giggles and brushes it off. And I ask him how long he wants to be working (he's older than me and thus has been working longer) and he says, well, I don't want to work until I'm 70, but it's like he doesn't believe we could make our situation such that we could be free of paid work earlier than that.
I find myself wanting to upgrade our house and kind of torn, feeling like if what we want is to leave paid employment sooner than a traditional age (or maybe it's not, I mean, we haven't established it), then do we need to stick it out where we're at? Hubby is a penny pincher and so am I, except I tend to feel more that I shouldn't have a balance in the checkbook or I should spend it on something. That might sound strange - it means that I had to get by check to check for a while and was pretty successful doing it - but it's hard to watch money sit there and go unspent. And it feels silly to pinch pennies just for the hell of it. I want to be working toward something.
So anyway, I think we need to revisit YMOYL as a couple, and need to solidify our dreams so we have something we are jointly working towards. Wow, that is long . . . sorry! All thoughts welcome. |
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Danny
Advanced Member
Canada
8976 Posts |
Posted - Nov 06 2009 : 7:39:05 PM
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It is important to plan big steps and little steps, also to plan fun that you both enjoy now as well as planning for the future.
good luck! |
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TammySchoch
Member
USA
409 Posts |
Posted - Nov 07 2009 : 12:47:23 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by fidgiegirl
...I tend to feel more that I shouldn't have a balance in the checkbook or I should spend it on something. That might sound strange - it means that I had to get by check to check for a while and was pretty successful doing it - but it's hard to watch money sit there and go unspent ...
if you move it to another account, then does this feeling go away? after accounting for all the bills that will be due before the next payday, i tend to put all but about $50 into savings. then i can't see it, and i don't spend it cause even though it's just a click on the screen to move it back, it's still an extra step so i tend to not spend it.
as for your original question ... any life changes can really upset the previous plan, and re-creating the plan takes a good amount of emotional energy. give yourself a little time, and there will be a plan again ... |
serenity |
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jrb3
Moderator
USA
2396 Posts |
Posted - Nov 07 2009 : 4:47:48 PM
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Aye, it's the planning not the plan that's important.
Asking the questions from YMOYL helped bring several values into focus for me. DW is YMOYL-compatible but not actively following the steps. We do work out what we want together as a couple and a household. The joint dream right now expresses itself as volunteering for her, a business for me, her mother with us, and the two daughters growing up happy and healthy.
The "money sit there unspent" feeling came early on for me too. I learned that I needed it to be actively assigned to something, often actually moved into a separate account, to alleviate this apparent stagnation of energy. Over the first few years of married life, I worked out a simple system where all money cleared through the checking account, each week the excess over and above bills for the week shoveled over into a savings or money-market account, and each month any money over and above our targeted reserves in that account would go to debt pay-down and/or investment.
Joseph |
Joseph Beckenbach
From each *voluntarily* according to their ability, to each *unimposed-upon* according to their need.
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fidgiegirl
Member
USA
384 Posts |
Posted - Nov 11 2009 : 4:24:45 PM
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| Well, at least we have squared away the house thing . . . we got distracted by the tax credit but going to stick to our debt repayment. Within six months we'll have all our other debt paid off. |
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Florence
Advanced Member
USA
6796 Posts |
Posted - Nov 11 2009 : 8:28:35 PM
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I really like the Dave Ramsey idea that you spend every dollar on paper, on purpose before the month begins.
That's great that you will have all your debts paid off in six months!!
Best wishes on your marriage!! |
If I really grasped the reality of how brief life is what would I do differently?
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New spouse, need to revisit YMOYL . . .
